Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Cancelling our Trip to the Beach

I've tried my best to give the Missaroo every adventure I can possibly think of. I've never really let our circumstances stop us from living our dreams. I'm really a no excuses type person for the most part, well at least I think I am. But those circumstances have caught up with us and for the Missaroo it means a life jacket without a body of water to swim in.

It all started with my decision to go home in September. My cousin Mike is getting married and there is nothing that would stop me from being there on his big day. Mike and I are only a year apart and even went to grade school together for a couple of years. As adults we've drifted, but as kids we were practically siblings. I can still remember helping his family move and unpack their new home in Yorkville. We thought it was the best house to play hide and go seek in.

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as flying for free. One of the downsides of living in Washington is the cost it takes to get back to Illinois for any reason. So the flight home I didn't exactly save up for, plus the new computer I'm blogging on, plus my car needing work, plus all the other expenses we can barely afford as is, means the beach just isn't do-able at the moment. I feel terrible.

The more and more I blog and live my life every single day, the more convinced I am that Missaroo is the kid I'll never get to have. So there is nothing I want more than to give her everything. I really wanted to take her swimming, to give her that opportunity. I thought I was doing all of this for her benefit in the the end, but it seems my decision making has done nothing but take away from her recently. It was bad enough we had to stop daycare and take away any opportunity she had to run around with other doggies, now this.

I hope you aren't feeling sorry for me. That's not the point of this. If anything, feel bad for the poor Missaroo, I know I do. But this is life. And my life includes struggling to survive sometimes. But the Missaroo and I are scrappy, we've been on the brink of homelessness before what's one more time? And who knows, maybe this isn't so much a cancelling of our trip to the beach as it is a postponement. We'll get there one day, we always do.

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