Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Time Flies When You're Getting Old

Missy's 3rd birthday is just under 7 weeks away. That might seem very random that I know that, BUT a week ago Monday she got groomed and I noticed her next appointment was on her birthday, 8 weeks away. So, that's how I know. And on Missy's 3rd birthday it will be exactly two years since she came into my life and made it a much better, brighter place.

So I've had that thought on my brain a lot lately, how have the last two years been so incredibly different than the rest of my life? And am I OK with the difference? On the first point, EVERYTHING and NOTHING feels different about my life journey. I think the biggest difference now is I feel like I'm actually living my life instead of waiting for it to start. When I was at home and in college, it was like I waiting for my career to start, waiting to move out on my own, waiting for life to happen to me. Now with Missy, every single day is an adventure. Good or bad we are living life to the fullest. We're hiking hills, driving hours away to explore new places, traveling Washington State, furthering our education, and realizing life is this thing we find ourselves in everyday. I've truly never felt so ALIVE. Another HUGE difference is just the sheer joy the Missaroo brings. I cannot tell you how much I love loving her, taking care of her, having someone else in my life even if right now that someone is just a dog.

There are downfalls from the last two years. I've been away from my family and I've missed out on a lot of family moments. Those I wish I had back. I wish I could be there to celebrate with my family every joyous occasion, but I can't. I don't get to see them on the holidays. I don't get to see them on their birthdays. I wish I wasn't so darn far away working crappy shifts so I can't take the time to go home. Also, I had my heart broken in a way that makes me doubt myself, in a way that took a huge chunk of my self-esteem and positive outlook about myself away. This not good enough for feeling creeps up inside me everytime I look in the mirror. It still hurts everyday, but I go on.

So you take the good with the bad and it all equals this: I wouldn't trade my life for the world. I wouldn't trade Missy for the world. I wouldn't trade a single adventure of ours for anything in the world. I'm truly blessed and I've truly grown. I'm not the same person I was when I moved out here three years ago. And I never want to go back to that other person again. This is my home, this is where my heart is, and this is where I want to be, right here with the Missaroo.

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