Tuesday, December 21, 2010

So This is Christmas....

Missy and I are gearing up for the new year. I cannot wait to celebrate her birthday and our two years together. She truly has made these last couple of years the best of my life. She gives me a reason to get up in the morning, and a comforting peace to fall asleep to at night. Life would not be the same without my Missaroo.

So this Christmas, and I realized now, more than ever, it is time to stop doing everything else. I have spent the last four years trying to climb some ladder I'm pretty sure I imagined in my head. Work doesn't make me happy, in fact work makes me pretty darn miserable. I've told myself to "stick it out" and "follow your dreams." Well dreams change. I realized today mine sure have. Why am I chasing a dream that makes me so darn miserable? That doesn't let me go to church? Be with my dog? Be with my family? Or even provide me with people in my life who like me? That's no dream, that is a nightmare.

I was sitting in the car today on my way to volunteering and trying to be in the best spirits I could muster when "So This is Christmas" came on the radio. And in that moment it really hit me like a ton of bricks, I have done nothing differently, or at least for the better. I go to church way less ((the least I've ever gone in my whole life, including college)) I'm equally as unhappy at work, have the same amount of friends ((zero)) so why?

It is time for a change. My resolution for this coming year is to get out of this slump for good. I miss that human connection in my life. People to talk to who enjoy the same things that I do, who enjoy building others up, who are good in nature. That is my goal for 2011 to find those people and if that means finding another career then it is time to let go. Let go of a dream that turned out to be not so perfect. To let go and let God!

On a sidenote: Merry Christmas everyone! Because of the times I am working this year ((despite the fact I requested to work the late shift)) this will be the first time I didn't get to talk to my family on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and the first time I haven't been to church on Christmas morning to boot. Please pray for my soul. Love, Brittany and the Missaroo.

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